One Little Word: 2012: Fruit

Hello All,

It has been much too long.  I have blog posts floating in my brain waiting to be posted.  Hopefully I get the time to write them all.

I thought I'd jump right in with my word.  I wanted to do a word this year and I wanted my word to have to do with making, producing, really making what I see in my head come to life.  I wanted to be done with excuses.

I want to sew.  I want to sew gifts.  I want to make quilts.  I want to make my little girl skirts.  I want to finish the 10 half started projects I have going.

I want to doodle every day.  I want to make the kind of mixed media that is waiting to be created.  I have all the tools, now I just need to practice.

I want to make Farm Chicks be a good year.  I want to reopen my etsy shop.  (Soon, as in this week)  I want to work with Sam and build and weld items.  I want to order some fun business supplies.  I want to get organized and serious.

I want to decorate our house with meaningful things.  I want to make some pillows.  I want to support more etsy artists and buy the prints that I love.

I want to finish our downstairs and share the remodeling projects with you on this blog.  I have pictures and crazy videos!

Speaking of blogging, I want to blog so many things.  I want to catch up and do a 2010 recap.  I want to share weddings I was in this last year.  I want to share creativity posts.  I have so many and I am really excited to write them.  I want to do a big blog redesign.

I want pinterest to just be inspiring and not consuming.  I want to make happen the things I pin.

I want to send out happy mail.  I want to write real letters regularly.

I want to travel- like a big trip.  I have a 10 year high school reunion in Wisconsin that I might go to, but I would rather go to Europe again while Luna is still free to fly.  I want to visit my best friend in Hawaii. I want to seek out little towns right around me and eat lunch at a diner and thrift shop.

I ordered quite a few goodies from tboo

So my little word for 2012 is fruit.  Matthew 3:8  Bear fruit in keeping with repentence.  It is out of joy and a full happy heart that I want to make things this year.  I feel like God has filled me with these creative gifts and I am really finally understanding what that means and being ok with it.  Fruit has a lot of meaning on the surface and a bit deeper.  I love fruit, it's good and sweet and I love going outside and picking it.  So it brings a good image to mind.  I found this little blurb on a blog post and I liked what it had to say spiritually about fruit.  I like using fruit because it ties the producing and making back to God and gives Him credit and helps me remember to turn to him for strength too.  I wanted a daily visual reminder of it so I turned to etsy.  I'm looking forward to an etsy order from England.  I ordered the fruit lockets pictured up above.  Here are some other things I liked too.  I want to make a little charm bracelet.  I might order one of these and add the locket to it.

Amanda Davie mixed media and art jewelry  I really like so many of her pretty pieces.

I also thought some of these little fruit pieces were cute.  I'm a little worried because I have never gotten into jewelry making, but I'm getting the urge and think it would be so fun!

Weston Perry

Jewel Be Charmed

Filled With Joy

We are reading Philippians in our little bible study group and I'm enjoying getting into the word again, I have been away from it for too long.  I am so blessed and encouraged by this group of friends I have.  Philippians is such a cool letter.  It is good to be reminded of the joy in Christ.  And it's interesting to remember that it's written by Paul while he is in jail, yet he is so filled with joy.  The key to the joy is being filled with Christ and his spirit.  I want to try to capture the joy and record it by taking pictures this month.  I think I'll start a flickr page and link to it on here.  One thing that I want to do that is different than what I normally do with pictures is to take more of a mix of pictures.  I want some pictures to be the beautiful and pretty things, but I also want to capture the mundane, or the chores, or maybe pictures of people serving.  I want a little mix of everything.  The blog world is a place of pretty inspiration, but sometimes it's a little too sickeningly perfect if you ask me.  It can make you start feeling like everyone else has a better life.  I know this isn't true, and I know blogs are just a little slice of life, and I know it's not good to compare, but it is hard when you see amazing pictures and fun things all the time online.  I just need to remember to fill my mind with His words rather than the worlds.  Philippians 2:3-7 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.  Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus...but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant..."  Finding joy in serving others, in lowering yourself and helping others, it's not something we see or hear everyday, but it is true.  There is joy to be found in Him.  I need this reminder.  I have been so encouraged and filled with the Spirit by these words.  I want to post mundane pictures saying- I am content.  Seriously, what's so wrong with contentment, not everything needs to be fabulous all the time.  I think it's hard to live in our society because we're disillusioned to think we ought to live a fun life all the time.  I love Phil 4:4-11  It speaks of rejoicing to God, to pray, be thankful, dwell on what is lovely, good, practice these things and the God of peace will be with you...for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am."  Ok, so I'm majorly paraphrasing there but it is a beautiful section of the bible, one of my favorites.

Luna's whole outfit is from the thrift store.  Except for the scarf, my sister in law made that, and the shoes are from her grandma.

 I am reminded of the book One Thousand Gifts.  The book chronicles the story of Ann Voskamp recording a list of gifts she is thankful to God for.  The habit is to be mindful and thankful to God.  I love Christmas- love it, but I do hate that thanksgiving gets completely looked over.  If you ask me, we Americans have it pretty good.  We're pretty rich and spoiled by many nice things.  So I want to take the time to slow down, rejoice, recognize and thank God for it all this year.  I'm joining in with many others to list some things I'm grateful for.

Here goes:
I'm thankful for
changing seasons.  I love the crisp smell of leaves at autumn, and the sound of them crunching beneath my feet.  I love the vibrant colors of fall.  The rich oranges, yellows and red.  I had fun playing with Luna in the leaves.  Fall is my favorite time of year.  I used to spend hours outside playing in the leaves, raking them into houses.  I hope Luna enjoys it too!  She kills me with her cuteness, kills me- I love these pictures.  I'm so thankful for a camera to capture her.

I'm rejoicing that the sun is shining.  I love seeing the sun

I'm thankful to have heat in my house.

I'm thankful I have dishes to eat off of- dishes that get dirty every day.  And I am thankful I can just turn a knob and fill my sink with water to wash them.  After our summer of hauling water and only having 2 jugs at one time, I am so thankful for running water.  I know that people in other parts of the world go to great lengths to get water.

I'm thankful for good friends who encourage me

I'm thankful for health.  I am so thankful we don't have any major health issues.  That is so awesome.

I'm thankful for fresh flowers that were cheap from Trader Joes.  They make me happy when I see them.  I love gerber daisies, they're my fave. and I love that the roses came with eucalyptus.

I could go on and on.

On Faith

Hmm, what to write, what to write?  Well life has been a little hard lately.  We haven't been able to live in the house that we bought a few months ago.  I have been spending time reading books and having chats with lawyers.  I do know that God is here and I have faith in Him.  It's not always easy when things aren't going your way.  I have been stressing, but everytime I start to feel sorry for myself I say a little prayer and ask for strength and comfort.  Sure, I complain and am stressed out and I don't really know why this has to be happening to us, but I do know that I have been met with the strength I need from God.  It's not like the stress of dealing with our problems goes away.  I still have to research it all and deal with this, but it has been more bearable.  I think I've only shed tears once, which is pretty remarkable for me.  Having a little dialog with God before I want to feel sorry for myself has been so good.  I still worry more than I should, I should trust more.  At least I know now that the more I trust the more at peace I feel.  I do know that in a few months we will be past this.  We will learn a lot and be much stronger.  One more chapter for the book of Becca and Sam's crazy adventure.  It seems that doing a conventional thing such as buy a house is a little more complicated for us.  I have been able to laugh at it all!  I do know that things could be so much worse.  We are all healthy and that is so good.  We aren't dying of starvation, we are safe.  Our life isn't going as we would have planned, but that's ok.  Hmm, sorry I can't really share more than that on here.  But I wouldn't be able to do a post showing that life is pretty and sweet right now.  In some ways it is, but behind the scenes we are dealing with a lot.  I am taking it one day at a time, and asking for patience.  Because the patience is starting to wear out.  Sam has been really swamped at work on top of this.  I do think our past experiences have made us more prepared for this.  And as Sam would say, we will definitely appreciate our house much more after all of this!

A Long Week

I have to admit, it's been a tough week. Monday Luna had a rough night, and I was running out of patience. It was one of those nights that I had to just leave the room and let her cry and go into the bathroom because I was out of patience! I started volunteering again on Tuesday. It felt good to get back in the swing of things. But our truck isn't working, so I needed a ride. I was supposed to ease back into it, starting out working just in the morning- well it turned into a whole day. That was fine and great, because I love what I do- (and I need to do a post and explain and share more about it here on my blog.) I forgot my lunch. It was much harder to make my phone calls and assist people with a baby. Stress + Lack of Sleep + Not eating = My three migraine triggers. Tuesday night we went to the community dinner at our church. Sam had worship practice, so he didn't get home until 10 pm.

love this picture our friend took of the worship practice on Tues.

I had kiddos coming to my house Wednesday morning to make Valentine's and I had a terrible migraine Tuesday night into Wednesday morning. I was so looking forward to it, so I didn't want to cancel. So I rested/forced myself to get it all done. Luna woke wide awake between 4:00 and 5:00 am and Sam spent time with her, rocked her and got her back to sleep. I think he even went into work a little later than he was planning. That was so helpful! Everyone came and we had a great time decorating the cookies. Thankfully my migraine disappeared by the time everyone came (I love caffeine.) It just wasn't organized and all ready the way I imagined it to be in my mind. I was supposed to make a cake for a friends birthday, that didn't happen. By midweek I was wearing out. Surprisingly, Thursday I had a great day.

Can you believe my friend just moved into her house this weekend and made it look this cute for hosting a party by Thursday?- amazing!

I haven't been spending much time with God lately and that also just makes a huge difference. I spent some time praying Wednesday and it's just amazing the strength, love, and peace that God gives. Thursday Sam was practicing bass with a different band, so again he was home late. He usually has Fridays off, but this week he had to work Friday and Saturday. It hasn't really felt like much of a weekend. Sam's mom watched Luna for a few hours and we slipped away for a little date. I had a yummy Ahi Tuna Sandwich at Twigs. It was nice to get a chance to reconnect with Sam.

The weather has been warmer and we've been going on walks with Luna in the stroller. The walks have been giving us an opportunity for good conversation. Having a baby changes everything, obviously so it's been good to get outside and spend time together. After the walks and talks we have I realize how much I miss talking to my husband. I'm so thankful the days are lasting a little longer so we can sneak these walks in at dusk. I love the winter, but I've spent this one cooped up more than ever so it's refreshing to get outside again.

You didn't think you'd make it through this post without seeing a picture of this cute face, did you? It is hard to be mad or lose patience with that gummy little grin of hers

In some ways it's easier and I've gotten used to Luna- but weeks like this are bound to happen.

And I've been wanting to post on here. I'm sure anyone else who blogs can relate- I dream up millions of posts in my head and then life keeps happening and I get further and further behind. I really want to post every day but it's just so hard with Luna! I could have sugar coated this post and made this week look magical. I could have done a cute post of the cookies we made on Wednesday, or the fun birthday party with friends on Thursday. (I still want to share the cookie pics with you on here) It was a good week-a full one- but also so rough. I just wanted to keep it real on here.

Next week might not be much better. Sam is recording with his band Tuesday and it will be another busy week at work for him. He tried to fix the truck but it's still not working, so I'm without a car. I'm so glad that he gets to play music so often because he's really passionate about it. I'm thankful he has friends to jam with. It's just hard to have the long days without him. This week I'm starting it out being mindful of keeping God the focus rather than the afterthought- which is so often sadly the case. God is so good. And you can't feel too sorry for me because I'm blessed with an amazing group of friends who are sweet and offer to give me rides.

We've never been good about doing much on Valentine's day- we usually have an overnight getaway around February as a Valentine celebration. I still need to plan that. Tomorrow I hope to cook something yummy and maybe make a fancy dessert or something. I don't think either of us have plans for tomorrow night so I think it will be a fun night. I actually look forward to Mondays because Monday and Fridays are the only days we have nothing going on in the evenings.

I hope you spend tomorrow with people you love! Happy Valentine's Day and lets hope you see more posts this week!

PS If you're noticing the nice big pic size, I'm going to share tomorrow how easy easy it is to do this and I"m so excited to give this blog the much overdue design rehaul soon.  I LOVE the new blogger changes, so great!

Spilling My Guts

I was so touched by hearing so many of you share your stories- your authentic words about your life and why you blog. What I shared before was true- it's just that I've been holding back on sharing a big part of what is going on in my life. So here goes- confession time!

The simple question what do you do (for a living) is not one I like to answer. I apologetically explain to people my meager attempts at trying to sell stuff online.

I realize I'm guilty of not practicing what I preach. I am a firm believer in chasing after dreams and I always try to encourage people to go for crazy things.

Right now what I'm doing isn't traditional. It isn't normal- it's not easy to relate to.

I need to go back a little to explain- My husband Sam and I have gone off and done some interesting things in the 4 years we've been married. Our previous job was running a 10 bedroom lodge. We learned a lot about life then. We realized we loved working together. (Yes- we're one of those obnoxiously pukey couples who would love to spend every minute together) We share so many of the same interests, and we learned that our differences in personality complements eachother. We also learned through that job that we can live off of a small amount of money. I guess I realized I hate the idea that our selfworth is determined by how productive we are. Everyone always wants to know if x,y, and z is done by the end of the day. And it seems life is a competition- the one with the most points wins. I just really hate that mentality. I don't think it's good to sit around- I'm all about working hard and productivity, but I think there is more to life than making money and spending it. I also think that there are more ways to make a living than a 9-5 job. I have nothing against people who love working that kind of job, it just isn't me at all.

So Sam is so so sweet and supportive. He is working for his dad right now. He works very hard and we are able to live just fine off of that one income. I love cooking, I love making things, and I want to help people. These are some of the things I want to do with my time. I don't care about making gobs of money to have cool stuff. (But don't get me wrong- I love pretty things!- this is where the thrifting addiction comes into play)

As of now I am trying to find my niche in making stuff. I really think this is what I'm meant to do but I'm really struggling with figuring out how to work from home and figure out a schedule. I have trouble putting myself out there and being confident in what I make. I am trying to pin down a style and look to what I make and it's not easy. I love so many different mediums, I feel like I need to pick one.

I have been taught a huge lesson in all of this. My self worth isn't determined by how productive I am, what everyone else thinks of me, how much money I make, how cool my job is. I am not successful right now. People don't know how to react when I tell them what I do. It's also largely my fault because I don't take myself seriously. I say, "I uh sorta am kinda trying to sell stuff online..." (Yeah, how should someone react to that?)

I learned that God loves me for who I am. If I can't walk tomorrow and can never work another day in my life, it doesn't matter. If I am failing miserably getting it together with my professional life, it doesn't matter. I still think I need to figure it out myself, but I know it just doesn't get me anywhere. The simple gospel I have known my whole life--that Jesus died for me and my confidence is in him and who he is and what he has done--I have had to truly accept and trust that. It is so funny to me how this lesson is learned and relearned again and again in my life in so many ways. I have had some really low points to come to the peace and joy that I have right now. I could go on and on about how I've been humbled and am learning, but I'll just stop there.

Movies that Make you Think

I've watched so many movies about the injustices of this world.  It drags me down and overwhelms me.  I like watching them.  I want to be informed, but it can be so soul draining.  I recommend watching them all.  I guess I'm not making a good argument to watch these movies.  But they are good, some are uplifting, some are downers, they'll make you think, they'll make you question things.  This is the way things are though, there is no denying it.

The links will take you to trailers.  I think you should pick at least one to watch.

The Visitor

The messed up system of immigration.   

(If you haven't seen this, watch this.  For the most part it's entertaining and uplifting and makes you want to pick up a jemba drum and learn to play)  

Blood Diamond

Talking about blood diamonds and the awful war in Sierra Leone where the 7 year olds were given machine guns and made into killing machines

Wal Mart The High Cost of Low Prices

Showing the corporations taking over

King Corn

Telling how messed up our farming system is

The Business of Being Born

Showing how scary it is to trust the system and have a baby in the US

Grizzly Man

A sad story about a man who never found peace or love from the world.  

(I hope you laugh a little that I threw this one in the mix.  The film is made so well, the music is beautiful.  This is about Timothy Treadwell the guy who lived with the grizzlies for over a decade and got eaten by them.)

Born Into Brothels

The awful reality that kids are being brought up to be sex slaves.  (This movie shows a woman who gave the kids in the brothels cameras, so it's not totally a downer)

Hotel Rwanda

A genocide that happened not too long ago, while the US stood by and watched it happen  

Rendition

What happens in our own country over in Guantanemo bay

God how does this all happen?  It shows how much I hate the world and love you.  We've messed up your beautiful creation and need you.  I want to shield my eyes.  I don't want to look, but it's all around me and it's ugly.  

 

Yes Christmas is Over

So Christmas is over.  I found this video a little late.  It's good to start thinking about changing ideas for next year.  It might take some time talking and convincing family and friends to do something different for Christmas.  This is a short video (only 2 minutes) but I love it and think it was done really well.  I'm sure I'm way behind here, and maybe you all have seen this.  

The gist is to spend less money giving gifts, so we can use that money to create safe drinking water for third world countries.  What do you think?

Here is the website if you would like to give, or learn more:  Advent Conspiracy

But I'm not a Doctor

I just had one of those- "yes, of course, why am I so stupid" moments the other day.  I really admire the people who go to other countries to help out those in need.  I always thought-oh I wish I was a doctor so I could really do some good.  I have a bunch of nursing friends, and I think, oh they can do so much to help people in other countries.  I always thought, what am I going to do, teach them how to bake a cake?  Paint a pretty picture, make their house look nice.  It seems so insignificant and so stupid.  In the back of my head, I was always thinking I need to acquire some other skills so I can really help people.  But as always, I am humbled.  I really feel stupid thinking about it now.  It's as if I am saying to God, thanks for giving me those gifts, but no thanks, they're not really good enough.  Well, my friend Elizabeth just told me that someone is doing that very thing, teaching girls how to make cakes so they can escape a life of sex trafficking in Cambodia.  I was just in a quilting store and I saw that they were traveling to Mozambique to teach girls how to sew for that same reason. They can learn a skill which they can be paid for so they don't have to sell themselves.  And Soule Mama has a wonderful blog called Mama to Mama that is dedicated to hand crafting items to help others in need.  She just finished a big project to give mothers in Haiti a simple kit of baby caps and blankets and a few other essentials to help in the birthing process.  They have the highest maternal mortality ratioin the Western Hemisphere.  In giving the mothers a few simple things for birth, this can be changed. 

Are all apostles?  Are all prophets?  Are all teachers?  Do all work miracles?

Do all have gifts of healing?  Do all speak in tongues?  Do all interpret?  But eagerly desire the greater gifts.

1 Corinthians 12:30-31

That last part-but eagerly desire the greater gifts- that was me for sure!  The Corinthians were seeking status through the gifts that they thought were most important.  But Paul was explaining that all the gifts are important and all serve a purpose.   I Corinthians 12 is a good section.  I shouldn't just pull that one part because it's hard to describe.  

So I thank God for giving me the gift of making things and I pray that I am able to use this gift to help serve others.  So if you are thinking that the gifts you have aren't all that special or significant, think again.  And if you're not sure what your gifts are pray that God will reveal them to you.  

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this not from yourselves,

it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's workmanship,

created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

Ephesians 2:8-10

Ok, one last rambling here.  You might be familiar with v. 8 and 9.  I memorized them, but can't believe I didn't memorize verse 10.  God prepared ahead of time for us to do good works.  Isn't that cool.  So I'm working on adding that last part to my memory.

So I must say.  I feel all preachy, and not so comfortable doing so.  I don't want to be all-"look at what I know, listen to me."  But this has been on my heart lately and I just wanted to share it, hoping that God will work in your hearts to feel more confident in the gifts He's given you and the work He's called you to do.

Being Honest

I need to be honest here.  I have just been feeling sorta down lately.  It's such a weird thing.  I really don't like to be negative on here- but I just need to get it out.  I struggle with the church I go to.  I am struggling with what I'm doing right now, trying to make things to sell.  I'm wanting to get more involved in the community.  We have been making an effort- we joined an outdoor online group.  I am just longing for and praying for some more friends.  I need people here my age who are like me.  I feel like we are moving toward our goals, that is what we're always doing, will we ever get there?  Will I ever be complacent?  I feel all of our experiences and travels have given us a very clear picture of what God wants for us in our life.  Life is sinful, certain things will always suck- I know this, but I always search for the greener grass.  Is this wrong?  Do I need more peace with where God has me now?  Or is it a healthy thing.  Am I just running?  There will never be the perfect job.  Sam and I know we're happier when we work together.  We have had the pleasure of experiencing just about every combination of circumstances- while I'm grateful I also think this makes us more dissatisfied because we have tasted glimpses of what our life could be like.  We want to be different.  We're ok with being different, it's a good thing.  We want to scale back- spend less money so we can earn less money and have more time to give of ourselves.  That is the ultimate goal.  We are working toward it right now.  What that will look like, I'm not sure.  Will we own land?  Will we have our own business.  And where on earth is that going to be???  I feel like we've made a big circle and we're back at the beginning.  Back at square one.  I am so confident that God will guide us there. His plans have always impressed me.  It's so hard for me to be patient though.  

We are trying to live more intentionally.  I guess it's sorta working.  It looks that way from the outside anyway.  On the inside I feel lousy.  I feel guilty for never really helping others the way I would like to.  I see things I could do- money I could donate but I feel like I'm a really big cheapskate and I'm really selfish.  

I don't like to be superficial.  Is this blog becoming way too superficial?  Do I really talk about who I am, is this my voice?  How come there isn't more talk of God on here.  Am I ashamed- is that the real reason?  I see these bloggers who write beautifully about their faith, but I think that's not me.  Why isn't that me?  Do I want to be known for my art or my walk with God?  If you read what I write it doesn't look like I care.  I do, I have a hard time sharing it openly.   I don't write eloquently or cute.  I'm blunt and cynical and never stop with the run on sentences.  I want to be more genuine, more authentic.  It is good to be open with people- tell it how it really is every once in awhile.  This is real life.  Life has struggles.  I struggle.  God listens, He hears me.  I know this- I'll keep pounding away and He will put up with it- He will do so much more than that.  It's this crazy love He has that I can never understand.  Then I go through this cycle.  I feel guilty-I ask for forgiveness-I am forgiven-I am relieved-I sin-I feel bad again- I know I don't need to- this is the walk.  That whole feeling bad- the guilt- my sin- I don't do a good job of sharing that openly.   Who wants to admit it?  It's hard.  Yes so I feel weird posting this, but that's that.