Friday, July 8, 2011

The Waiting Game And Letting Go

Sam was supposed to come home Wednesday night, then Thursday night, then tonight, now tomorrow afternoon.  9 times out of 10 these jobs always take longer than anticipated so I always try not to look forward to the actual day he is supposed to arrive home.  It is so hard not to know when to expect him, and to be disappointed at the last minute every night!  It's 11 pm his time and he's still working tonight as I write this!  So, who knows- maybe he'll be home Sunday.  I'm not going to assume anything until I get a call from the airport!  3 weeks as a single parent is so tiring!  I have so much more respect now.  Luna is chewing on a vintage block as we speak and I'm trying not to think about where they have been.  I'm just hoping that their age will help her build a strong immune system.  This girl has also figured out how to scoot all over the place and roll from one area to another.  It's no longer safe to leave the room and expect to find her where she started out!  She has such a strong little personality.  She scrunches her nose and squints her eyes when she laughs- it's the cutest thing.  I don't know if her dad will recognize her!  I really miss him.  I also know it could be much worse, I'm glad he's here most of the time.  I'm glad he's not in the military.  I'm glad I'm not a single parent!

Her little vintage bathrobe- all clean after a bath!

Being a homeowner and first time landlord has been a little stressful to deal with all alone.  I have been so thankful for my friends and family who have helped out so much.  Friends have invited me over for dinner.  They have listened to me talk for hours on the phone, venting!  They have watched Luna so I could haul our weeds to the transfer station.  They helped drive my truck home when it broke down on the way home!  They helped me put together our lawn mower.  (I can't wait to show you- it's a reel mower-(no gas) and so much fun to use.)  When Jess and Jeff came I was planning on making this cake for them, but it didn't happen, my kitchen floors didn't get mopped and my pile of crap from an estate sale didn't find a home.  It resides in a pile in my dining room!  It's hard for me, because I like everything to look perfect, but it just didn't happen.  But I'm learning to just roll with it.  I felt bad that I couldn't make the perfect meal.  It was so much more fun to just chat at a restaurant and enjoy food that someone else made.  It's so good to just get together with friends.  It's a lesson for me to let go of my own expectations and pride and just be!  God is good and is getting me through.  It really has gone by fast.  Having a community of people to help is so nice.  It's great to have people who love and care and understand! 

So the past few weeks have been very busy.  Staying busy makes the time go fast, but it was almost too busy.  One day last week I helped sell things for our church's community garden and some weaving made by refugee friends.  I was excited about it, but it didn't really work out.  We were not organized enough and had some miscommunication.  So sadly, we aren't selling anymore- but to be honest I'm a little relieved!  It was fun to sit and chat with a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile.  And it was fun talking to the other vendors.  Hopefully we can get it together someday!

Our little garden is growing bigger by the day.  It still looks pretty pathetic, and since I forgot to add the markers before the pencil washed away everything is a mystery!  I know the tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and squash- but that's it.  Every night Luna and I go.  She loves to get sprayed by the hose (on the gentle mist setting)  She makes her little squinty face, it's fun!  She was my little helper weeding all day yesterday!

I painted a little accent wall. It's the first time I've been able to paint in any place that I've lived.  Let's just say I didn't ease into it!  I'll show you the full reveal when I get my art on the wall.

I also made another trip to Greenbluff and got to pick my $16 worth of berries!  There have been many play dates at the park splash pad, a girls night spent chatting much too late at night, and lots of time outside.  Trying to make the most of summer, and trying to choose to be happy even though Sam is gone!


JSchaller said...

I know how those stretches without dad can wear a mom down. I agree, I'm so thankful Caleb is not in the military. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it also makes me cranky!

Perhaps some day we can come see your home and have a Luna + Greta playdate!

Cottage Mommy said...

Oh, I'm so sad for you that Sam isn't home yet! Hope, hope, hope for today!

Funky Junk Antique Show said...

you are sooo busy mama!!=) Keep on keeping on, and I admire all you've been up to, and without your husband there! I have it good I know, but it's still hard during the school year to not have mark around as much. Happy summer!

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